If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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