Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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