Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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