drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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