I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
