turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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