Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
