I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
