I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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