my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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