He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
