We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
