Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
