people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
