covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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