So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
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By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
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If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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