go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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