I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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