I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
