I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
