i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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