Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
