3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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