are you still at the devil's house?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It's just like the Real World with babies
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
