I cut my penus on the lid.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
