Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
