his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
