Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
