I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
