Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
