and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
