Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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