guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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