In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
