I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
