JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
