Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
