She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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