Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
