Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
