Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
They took my balls.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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