I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
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SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
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Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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