he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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