I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
