I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
