Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
