We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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