I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
