wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
