Old men and throwing up are my life now.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
