So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
