There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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