The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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