1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize