Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
