well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
