Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
