A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
