He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
