New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
