? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
