I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
