FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize