I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
