I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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