is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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