If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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