After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
